4:33 a.m., 2005-04-18
I had told Ryan I would write yesterday, but I can't always be the perfect girlfriend. I mean, sure, I do come scarily close most of the time, but I have to make small mistakes from time to time to make RYan feel better. Hehe.
Anyway, the general state of things is as follows:
1. I had a great weekend with 22 family members in Disneyland last week. We celebrated my grandma's 75th birthday and it was so much fun. We got to sit up on this awesome balcony to watch Fantasmic and have dessert, and my grandma had the time of her life.
2. I was accepted to UCDavis for the fall. They also furnished me with a pretty nice financial aid deal, so that is a great relief. It was this cloud hanging over me that I might not get in, even though I know that I'm qualified and all that, it's just a matter of insecurity.
3. I am in the top ten for the 2005 Raley's Scholarship, which means I have earned at least $1,000. Based on the interview I give next week, they will decide who deserves 2, 3, or 5 thousand dollars. But even still, $1,000 is very helpful.
4. I am still waiting to hear back from ASU about financial aid. They have had my paperwork since February and now they are saying it might be early May before I hear anything. If I don't cancel my $200 housing deposit by May 1, I lose it. If I cancel it and they give me great aid, I will have to scramble to find an apartment when I get there. If I don't cancel it and I don't get enough FA to go to ASU, then I'm out $200. I mean, it's not the end of the world or anything, but it's a little frustrating.
5. I am moving to my dad's house. This will be until the end of summer if I go to ASU, or until I can find suitable livingmates if I go to Davis. My mother is spiraling into a really bad place and I cannot and refuse to deal with it. With so much going on in my life all the time it has really been a drain on my resources, so I am making a logical decision. Although, I haven't told her yet. She will see it as a personal affront, I am "choosing my dad over" her, and other such unpleasant things.
6. Ryan's parents offered to let me stay at their house until things calmed down. I would never do that, and thankfully I have plenty of family members who have offered their homes to me over the years, but it really meant a lot to me that they would offer.
7. I miss Ryan a lot. He'll be home in a month which is awesome, and by then everything will be sorted out for me. He and I will have 3 wonderful months to spend together, and possibly follow that with a school year living in the same state again. It would be so nice! Anyway, I have had so much going on and I have wanted nothing more in the past week than an hour of cuddling and shutting out the world to recuperate a bit. Nobody makes me feel better when things are chaotic the he, and I can't wait to see him again.
8. We talked about how the seven-year itch has become the four-year itch in my Psych of Sex class. Does anybody know if that only counts once two people get married, or if it's the first four-ish years of any committed relationship? I've been too lazy to look it up yet and now I'm going to bed.
