8:18 a.m., 2005-03-03
I had the strangest, most involved dream last night, all centering around Ryan and me trying to get married. Ryan was from an extremely wealthy family and his mom, the scary evil matriarch was the grandma from the Gilmore Girls. She was so disapproving of me and afraid that Ryan and I had been intimate before she had the chance to make him change his mind about marrying me. She was so mean and rude that of course it just made Ryan want to marry me more.
But as the plans went forward and she was becoming increasingly difficult, I began to have my own second thoughts because it seemed to me like Ryan was marrying me just to get back at his mother. Also, he began acting a little snobby and chauvinistic to me when I tried to involve myself in the plans of my wedding.
So the day of the wedding arrived. A stadium-full of people had been invited, and we started off by doing this structured dance with everyone in the wedding party. But Orlando Bloom, playing himself in this dream, was in the wedding party. And the longer this complicated dance went on, the more I decided I had to have him. This led me to a big realization because my psychology of sex teacher told me that marriage includes denying the possibility of another match even exists for the sake of the marriage.
With the dance drawing to a close, I made a lunge for Orlando before he could leave, but Ryan figured it out and lunged for me as well. We fell in a heap, and I lied to Ryan telling him that there was just some important surprise I needed to discuss with Orlando, so he let us go off in private a moment. We talked for hours, but he convinced me that I would be happy in my marriage to Ryan and that he just wished me the best.
So, I went on to marry Ryan, and things were okay for a few months, but I was never very happy. I felt sort of resigned to our marriage instead of enjoying it. And the longer we were together the less he cared about me.
It was a strange, sad dream. I feel like it lasted for hours too. It was one of the most detailed and complicated dreams I can ever remember happening.
