8:22 p.m., 2005-03-02
Today is the tenth anniversary of my grandpa's death. Today marks the day I begin having lived more of my life without him than with him.
This evening was family and food. It was making my grandma feel special and getting her out of the house. We took her to the cemetary so she could say her hellos and put fresh flowers out for him. And she got stolen cake from the restaurant because they thought it was her birthday.
Everything was nice. We went to Mary Noonan's favorite restaurant, the one that no one had been to since August when she died. We talked about my cousing Steven because it would have been his birthday next Tuesday and it is our first one without him. We talked about everyone we knew who had passed and thankfully it was not a long list. We have a lot to be thankful for in my family.
In a month we will convene at Disneyland and celebrate my grandma's 75th birthday, all together, all having fun. Everything that weekend will be about her and how lucky we are to have her in our lives. Everything about that weekend will pay tribute to the most wonderful and extraordinary woman I will ever know, a woman my grandfather was incredibly lucky to marry.
Sometimes I get scared when I think about the passing of my grandmother. I can't imagine not living around the corner from her and visiting at least every few days. I can't imagine not having a central location for Christmas and Thanksgiving and St. Patrick's Day dinners.
But the fact that I have known her in my life for this long, and that I have the opportunity to see her whenever I want has been such a blessing to me. I am thankful for the time I have gotten to spend with her, and I will be blessed by every additional minute or day or year I may have with her. But, as with my grandpa and Mary Noonan and my cousin, we will never stop talking about her, because the love and admiration we have will not fade.
