9:54 p.m., 2004-12-14
My dream last night was so strange. It came from so many different places in my life it's hard to pinpoint any common thread.
I was at a small, casual party with a lot of my friends from high school, and I was there with Sam. He and I were together and we were happy and being sweet. And then he left to find a female friend who he had heard was sad. So I went off in search of her boyfriend, because maybe they had a fight. So I found him and it was Adam from Joan of Arcadia, and at that point he was my boyfriend, and I held him tight around his chest from behind and I comforted him, and he turned and we kissed.
And then I was visiting Ryan at his dorm, and to get to his dorms you had to walk across the street from the actual campus and then there was a convoluted series of very narrow, steeply graded walkways with no railings and a long way to fall. The easiest way to use them was to just sit down and slide on the walkway to the other side of whatever huge ravine it was that we needed to cross. We did it once together and I had no problem but later I went to do it on my own and I was so paralyzed by the fear that I would fall over the edge and disappear that I waited until he came to find me.
That's all I remember. I think me comforting Adam like I did had to do with comforting Ryan with all the messed up thigns that have happened lately, but I don't really know how to explain the rest of it. I do remember the Sam part of it being so wonderful and I woke up happy because I thought of that first, but then something about it struck me as sad. Perhaps the reality of it, because that didn't end so well. Well, no, that's not totally accurate. I mean, I don't think it would have lasted a long time anyway, but the dream made me remember that the time with him was mostly really really nice. It's weird the memories a dream can spark.
Anyway, it makes me wonder how he is. And Michelle. And Frank Fanucchi. And even Mike Johnesee. I hope everyone is in a good place now. I know I'm still trying to get there, but I really feel like I'm making progress.
